Hardest Things
by MyBeautifulBlackHeart
Summary: Matt gets really sick, and while at the Hospital Mello finds a little girl. Will Matt be able to get better if Mello is spending a bunch of time trying to help the little girl, or will Mello have to say his final good byes to him? Sorry, I suck at summaries. Disclaimer: I don't own DN.
1. Chapter 1

Matt sat there on the hospital bed. He didn't want to lie down. He didn't want to acknowledge where he was or why he was there. He didn't want to have his mind thinking over and over what he had just heard. He didn't want to do fucking anything for that matter.

He looked over at the little tray that was attached to the stiff, clothed hospital bed where his phone and a water the nurse had brought him lay. He didn't want to call Mello and tell him that he wouldn't be home when he had said he would. That his check-up didn't end up just being a check-up after all. Telling Mello that he was rushed to the major hospital would most likely be one of the hardest things hes done in his entire life. But it was inevitable, he had to call.

He picked up his sleek black phone and flipped it open. He had to do this, no matter how hard it was, he couldn't keep this from Mello for any length of time. He was sitting in a fucking hospital bed for God's sake! He browsed through his few contacts in search of the one he dreaded most at the time. He just wanted to have the number somehow be suddenly erased from his phone, but when was anything ever for him. He dialed the number and slowly brought the phone up to his ear.

The phone clicked and he knew Mello had picked it up but wouldn't say anything until he heard Matt's voice on the other end. "Hey" Matt managed to choke out quite smoothly, although he could already feel the tears lining his eyes. "What's up Matt? I thought you said you'd be home by now, nothing's wrong is there?" Damn he was quick, now the tears were slowly escaping his eyes, but what could you expect from number two at Whammy's house for gifted children.

"Uh, ya Mello, there actually is something wrong, I-" Matt could here Mello moving around on the other end as he was interrupted, "Where are you Matt?" "The major hospital down near the beach" He could hear Mello stop abruptly on the other end, and he could feel his heart drop to his feet. "Matt. Why are you there?" Matt's heart then shattered at the tone in Mello's voice when he said that, but before he could try to explain further he heard the roar of Mello's motorcycle and the phone line ended.

**Matt's POV**

A million things raced through my mind, what was I gonna say to Mello, how was I gonna tell him? Could I even manage to say it aloud. As to prove that the answer to that was in fact no, the tears tarted dripping off my face and onto my open palms more frequently.

I looked up at the ceiling, then the walls, then the door, and I eventually made it to the window on the begin hearing the roar and screeching of none other then Mello's motorcycle.

How could he have gotten here so fast? Or was I so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't realize the time going by. Wouldn't surprise me if it was a mixture of both though.

I guess I did it again because the next thing I knew, I heard Mello's boots halting right in front of my door. I couldn't bring myself to look up but I three simple words leave my mouth though. "Mello, it's cancer"

With that said, I felt a little weight fall off my shoulders. Mello's boots began squeaking on the floor and I felt my current bed weigh down and his hand reached for my chin. He gently grabbed my chin and lifted my face to his until I was looking directly into his eyes. "I wish I could tell you it'll all be okay... but I can't Mells." He pulled his hand from my face and wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his body.

"It will be ok Matt! I promise it will be!" I could hear his chocked sobs into my shoulder, but I couldn't blame him, I was doing the same thing. But crying isn't like Mello. Mello only cried when it involves Near beating him or... when L died. Also known as when someone he loved died.

"Mello, you have to understand how serious this is." "Matt you can't die on me! You're the only on I have and I-"

He stopped talking. He stopped crying. He stopped moving, and it honestly felt like he stopped breathing.

I tried to pull away but he had an iron grip around me. What was he gonna say? My mind was jumping towards multiple conclusions all at once. Was he gonna say I don't want you to die? Was he gonna say I need you? No. But he couldn't have want to say what I think he was gonna say. Was he actually gonna say I love you? No. He couldn't. Mello doesn't love me and I know that. I know that my one sided feelings are to forever going to be just that.

...But I guess forever isn't turning out to be as long as I thought it was gonna be. "Mello, what were you gonna say?" He shook his head into my neck and I knew that his stubborn ass wasn't going to be talking any time soon. But, with that, the nurse walked in. "Mail Jeevas I presume?" "Just Matt" I corrected her as she stared down at her clip board tapping the pen she had in hand on it. "Alright, _Matt_, it looks like you have... do you want to talk about this now? Or shall we continue this later. At a more private time", she looked in Mello's direction, but he didn't notice he was to busy staring at, well, me for that matter.

"Now is fine, Mello here can hear everything that's wrong with me." "Alright, if you insist. Mai-Matt, you seem to have brain cancer that is focused all in the back of your head in a mass tumor." I saw the light reflect off another tear slowly making its was down Mello's cheek out of the corner of my eye. I wished so much to just be able to bring my hand up to his face and wipe it away. Just be able to kiss it all better. But I couldn't even bring myself to move let alone kiss him. I mean friends don't kiss, and he doesn't love me, right?

But, as this was running through my mind, something in the back of my head clicked. (No pun intended) How does the nurse say this so calmly, telling someone that they're going to die soon. I'll never know how they do it. I would never be able to do it.

She continued like she didn't see Mello crying, and for that matter me crying. "We would also like to discuss procedures. We can set you up for a procedure as soon as tomorrow morning." It's like Mello had never been crying when he spoke up. "Alright, tomorrow morning is perfect." Wait now he's deciding for me? I didn't like this but I couldn't bring myself to speak up now.

The nurse nodded to us and quickly left the room. There were so many thoughts rushing through my head right now, but anxiety seemed to be the top priority because the next thing I knew I was running to the bathroom to throw up.

I knelt down in front of the toilet and then proceeded to puke out my guts. I could sense Mello behind me before I felt his hand soothingly rubbing my back. "Please leave. I don't want you to see this Mells." "Not likely." was all I got back before I had to puke again.

I had never been one for stress, but I guess I never really had to deal with it before. I felt like there was nothing more to puke out ever again, so I decided to try to stand. My wobbly legs were about to give out on me when a pair of strong but gentle hands gripped under my arms and helped me up. "Thanks Mells"

"Of course Matt, but since when do you call me Mells?" I started laughing and before I could think about a normal snide comment to make I fell into Mello and blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Short chapter is short, but I got a really nice review so I went onto my old laptop where i started this and emailed it to myself, and this is what happened to already be written. Sorry for the wait for the 2 people who followed it! haha well here you are. I might have another chapter by the end of the night, don't know. And at the end of this story I introduce May, and I promise it's relevant.

Watching Matt laugh was like going back to Whammy's where nothing was wrong, but of course that was short lived and it all came burning down when an unconscious Matt fell into my arms. I don't really remember much of what was happening but I do remember about a million things going through my mind all at once. I knew I was screaming and I don't think my mind fully comprehended why, but then there were doctors rushing into the bathroom.

I don't know if I was screaming more when Matt fell or when they were pulling me away from him. I know I threw some punches at a few nurses but I don't think I got them, but it was enough for them to call security to restrain me. They held my arms around my back until I had calmed down and was breathing regularly again. I pulled out of their grips and started walking away. They watched me closely as I made my way to the seat that was outside of Matt's room, making sure I wasn't going to barge in there and disrupt more things.

Matt. Matt. Matt. That was pretty much all that was going through my head. The memories we had together back at Whammy's. Trying to find each other again after I made the stupid mistake of leaving, thinking it would be the right thing. Living with Matt. What would happen if he got sicker, or if he died. What would I do, I don't think I'd be able to live knowing that what I live for is dead. And of course that led to the thoughts of how I feel about Matt in general.

I knew I loved him. I've known that since I was about five. 15 years of one-sided love. Most people would have given up, or went and found somebody else. But me? My love for Matt just got stronger and stronger. The more I was around him the deeper I fell into the hole called love.

Most people will say that I can't love somebody at five. Let alone realize sexuality. But growing up without any parents or guardians. With the only fatherly figure you have gone most of the time, you realize the love around you a lot quicker. Of course I didn't realize that it was love then, just deep, deep friendship. But when I turned eight, and all the boys were getting crushes on the girls, I was getting crushes on them. Well not them but Matt. Just Matt.

I must have looked like I was in really bad shape, because a little girl walked up to me. "Are you alright Mister?" I looked up, and I went wide eyed. She looked just like Matt, just in girl form. She had long red hair, not quite as abnormally red as Matt's, but red none the less. She had these deep emerald green eyes. She was beautiful. "Mister?" I was pulled back into reality. "I-I'm fine" Wow, I'm smooth. Stuttering to a six year old girl.

"I don't think you are" Guess she's smart, but then again it mustn't be that hard to tell the way I'm crying.

She reached up to my chin and pulled it up so I was looking her in the face. And the next moment she had her small arms locked around my neck and I was hugging back. "I'm May."

"Mello."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Mello"

I pulled away slightly leaning back into my seat, "It's nice to meet you too, May"

Next thing I knew, May was getting pulled violently out of my arms. "PERVERT!" I heard a woman yell, and start to drag May away, assuming it was her mother. "You don't go near to random people May!"

"But he isn't a random person Mommy, he's Mello!"

The woman turned to me. "So, Mello, what do you want with my daughter?!"

Guess I could have been nicer, but my defensive side took over, " I don't want anything from your daughter! She was just giving me a hug, what do you think I am a fucking rapist!?"

"For all I know you could be." With that, she stormed off harshly pulling May by the arm. At the end of the hall I saw her pull her around a corner and yelling started but to my honest disliking a slap was heard, and I could hear May crying. That was going to fucking stop.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yay! Another chapter in one day, guess I've got my inspiration back. I might get another chapter done tomorrow, or maybe sometime this weekend. I have a convention to go to so I might not be able to update till next week sometime. Hope you enjoy it~

Matt's POV

I woke up wondering what had happened. When had I ended up back in the bed, and all these needles sticking into my arm. Dammit I hate needles...they remind me of my fucked up parents. And where's Mello? Last thing I remembered was laughing about calling him Mells.

Suddenly all, I could hear over the horribly obnoxious beep of the machines, was Mello's distinctive voice yelling about something about a rapist, I'd have to ask him about it when he got back in. Didn't surprise me though, nothing that comes out of his mouth has surprised me since we were around 9, and he already had the mouth of a sailor.

The chair outside the door hit the wall, probably from him either throwing himself into it or kicking it. With the curse that followed I figure the latter. The heavy door opened harshly, and a pissed off Mello walked in the room. As soon as he saw I was watching him cautiously, his face softened and a sad smile graced his face. He slowly made his way over to me sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"What was that all about?" I asked honestly.

"Nothing you need to worry about Matt, how are you feeling?"

"Alright I guess, I don't really have any idea as to what happened, or how I got into the bed though," I chuckled lightly.

He sighed the smile leaving his face almost completely, "You blacked out and fell into my chest, then I started freaking out, and the nurses came and got you back into bed."

A blush tinted my cheeks and I looked down, "U-uh sorry dude, that's really embarrassing." I can't believe I fell into his chest.. I mean could I have done anything more embarrassing. Falling into his arms, could it be anymore cliche, too bad it can't be. I felt his thin fingers grip my chin pulling it up gently.

"Don't be ashamed or embarrassed about it, it's nothing." I tried to turn my head but his grip tightened, and his eyes locked on mine. "Seriously, Matt it's alright." I didn't realize why he was being so sincere about it till I felt a single tear leak out of the corner of my eye. Slowly he leaned closer to my face, and his hand moved from my chin to cup my face. He looked at me questionably before closing the space between us, and pressing his lips gently against mine. There was a million thoughts going through my mind before I closed my eyes and responded to the kiss, pressing back. It stayed innocent till he pulled away slowly not opening his eyes till his forehead was the only thing connecting us.

"What was that for?" I asked my voice barely above a whisper.

"Um nothing." He looked down before quickly walking out the door. I fell back onto the hard pillow on the bed, melting into it hoping to never resurface. What was I supposed to think of this? I mean it was going perfectly, like I thought it would happen if he was to ever return the feelings. Does he feel the same way? But he just like ran out of the room after it..

Mello's POV

What did I just do? I don't know what compelled me to.. Of course I've wanted to do that for years now, but I never thought I would actually do it. And now, he might be dying and he'll hate me. I dropped into the chair I was sitting in earlier. But he did kiss me back, and he didn't get mad after.. I don't know what to think of it all, I mean what if he actually returned the feelings? It would be the best thing that ever happened to me. having his love, having him. If he does return the feeling he'd tell me right?

(-line-)

That night went by without any talk of the kiss, no hints to start a conversation about it even. I was fine with it, I guess but it made me feel kind of like he wished it didn't happen. I hope I'm thinking too much about this, I would hate myself if this did anything to our friendship. The only change that I would accept gladly would to be more than friends.

Then again, I haven't started any conversation about it either. Which brings me to the present, better now then never right? I ended up back outside the room claiming I had to go to the bathroom, which was obviously a lie and I know he knew cause there is a bathroom in the room. I got up from my seat and knocked lightly on the door before walking inside.

"Hey Matt?"

"Ya Mello?"

"What happened earlier, with the whole-"

"We can forget about it if you want.." He cut me off, and I felt like crumbling, big bad Mello was turning into a pile of mush and it was all because of the beautiful man in front of me.

"But.. What if I don't want to forget about it?" I tried, hoping he wouldn't take it badly.

"Mello, I know you want to forget it, if you didn't you wouldn't have run quickly out of the room. I don't want to forget it, I couldn't if I tried. But I can see it in your eyes the regret from the kiss. You wish you never did it, and that's fine, you can just forget it." He was looking down at his hands, fumbling with the sheet.

"The only reason I had wished I hadn't done it was because I thought it would ruin what we already have." I am going soft I swear it.

"Mello.. I-I.."

"What Matt, what is it? Are you alright?" I was suddenly worried, was he alright? Was he gonna black out again? My focus completely switched to his current condition.

"I love you." I was stunned to say the least, too stunned to do anything at all. Eventually I looked up at him and slowly made my way over, I leaned down and quickly captured his lips in a passionate kiss, so much deeper than the innocent kiss we had shared hours before. My tongue brushed his bottom lip and was instantly granted access. Before I could even begin to get enough of him, the need for oxygen took over and I had to pull away. Our breath mixed as we panted slowly.

"I love you too, Matt." I smiled so wide I thought my face would crack in half, his resembling mine. "I've wanted to tell you that for so long."

I was about to lean down to kiss him again when I felt a pull on my arm and my eyes shot open.. It was a fucking dream.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't really like the majority of this chapter, but it's a plot point so it needed to happen, but the ending turned out right and May's IQ is shown again. Thanks to anyone reading this, I love reviews so they're always welcome!

The first thing I saw was May. For some reason she just get under my skin, in a good way though.. I guess. Like, she didn't irritate me but I swear she could make me do anything she wanted, being telling her what was wrong most if the time, anytime she wanted.

"Hi Mello, what's wrong?" She had honest concern all over her face.

"Hello May, nothings wrong, don't worry." I sighed.

"Don't lie to me Mello, I don't like liars." She frowned and I couldn't help but let a mall smile come to my lip.

"It's nothing you need to worry about, now you better go before you let your mom catch you with me again." She shook her head.

"My mom went to the store down the street and told me to stay with my brother, but he fell asleep so I went wandering, she's not gonna catch me if I don't get hurt, and you wouldn't hurt me, would you Mello?"

"No, I won't hurt you May."

"Good! Now tell me what's wrong Mello, Please?"

"Alright, I'll tell you what's wrong as long as you don't tell anybody alright?"

"I promise I won't tell anybody!" Her excitement was amusing and brought another smile to my face, what could be the harm in telling her?

"So my friend is in here." I pointed backwards to the door. "He's really sick, we don't know if he's gonna make it or not. But the thing is, I really like him. I'm kinda in love with him, and he doesn't know it." I shrugged looking down at her.

"So why don't you tell him?"

"Because he'd hate me."

"And how do you know that?" She was impressing me for someone her age.

"Because he probably likes girls, not guys, and even if he did he wouldn't like me." We never had a conversation about sexuality that I can remember, but I remember him having a few girlfriends while I was with him at Whammy's, probably had a few more after I left.

"Maybe he likes both boys and girls." She shrugged looking me dead in the eyes. How did she know so much about this kind of thing, although she was probably just being naive with her thoughts.

"Well maybe May, but I'll talk to you later, I left on a bad note last time and I think I'm going to go check on him now. Thanks for trying to help though." I gave her a smile and before I knew it I had an arms full of her. I slowly wrapped my arms around her back, returning the hug. She pulled away and kissed my cheek before skipping away towards what I presumed to be her brother's room. I sat there for a few minutes thinking over what I was going to say to Matt when I got back into the room.

I wish the dream could have been a vision and walk I went back into the room I could do exactly what I had in the dream and have the same outcome, well at least without the waking up in the end.

I pulled myself out of my chair before slowly turning and resting my hand on the door handle. I didn't want to go deal with this, but i knew I had to sometime or later. I pushed the handle down and pushed on the door forward. Matt was sitting up in the plain white bed picking his nails, probably dying for a cigarette right about now. He looked up when I steeped in, gently closing the door behind me.

"Hey Matty."

"Hi Mels."

"So.. "

"So.. "

"How are you feeling? You know, about this whole thing?" I chickened out I know, but I just couldn't. Not yet at least.

"I'm scared Mello, I'm really, really scared.. " he looked terrified, completely mortified. I walked over and sat down next to him, making him scoot over on the bed a little. I wrapped my arm around him shoulders, I know not really a friend gesture, and pulled him towards me, his head resting on my shoulder.

"You'll be okay, I promise you. Everything will be alright, I'll get you the best of the best. You will be okay." I couldn't tell if I was reassuring him or myself. I rested my head on top of his turning it slightly, and placing my lips to the top of his head, shattering the lines of friendship. I squeezed my eyes shut not pulling away for a couple seconds, and then nestling my face in his hair, hiding from reality of what was to come.

"But what if I'm not, what if something goes wrong in tomorrow's operation, or it becomes incurable." His voice got higher as he talked.

"Matt don't talk like that! I told you, you're going to be fine! You're going to be more than fine!" The tears were overflowing now, and I'm sure he could feel them on his scalp. His head tilted up and he looked me in the eyes. His green one's finally not covered by those damned goggles he always wore. I saw a mixture of emotions flash through them, but I could see the fear most. I wanted to take that fear away, convince him that he would be alright. I did the only thing I could thing of, I showed him that he wasn't alone in this, that he was loved.

I leaned down, meeting his lips with my own, trying to let all my emotions show through such a simple yet meaningful action. He returned the kiss, bring his hand to the thread through my hair. We pulled away, our lungs requiring needed oxygen, just taking the time to look each other in the eyes. I rested my forehead against his giving him a small peck again before closing my eyes.

"Mail Jeevas, I love you with all my heart, and I will not let you die."

"I love you too Mihael. I hope you're right, I don't want to live without you."

A/N: I know I changed how I spelled Mels in this chapter, but I just like it better this way..


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Kinda a long wait for this chapter, but I went out to the desert with my friend and her family, and I didn't have any internet but I tried to write anytime i got in the car. Kinda a filler, crappy chapter, but I really didn't have that much inspiration for it. I think I know what I'm doing for the next chapter though, and it has plot in it, if I actually end up sticking to the actual summary I have written for it. Well, I'll shut up now,I hope you enjoy it.

Mello's POV

We ended up just lying next to each other on the uncomfortable, hospital bed. Matt had gotten the needles out of his arms periodically throughout the day. It would have been the most comfortable moment ever, but given the current circumstances, there was a heavy weight in the air that wouldn't go away no matter what. It was nearing sunset, and we were just staring out the window at the colorful sunset along the ocean, while I rubbed soothing circles on his back and he lied his head on my chest. The silence was both comfortable and unbearable at the same time. My mind was complete inner turmoil, thinking about the future and the operation that grew nearer by the second. I was content outside, just with Matt lying next to me, finally as I wanted him in my life. He had told me he loved me after I had said it, and he looked at perfectly ease, at least on the outside, but what was he to me? What were we?

He must have felt me tense as he moved and looked up at me. He was so gorgeous. His bright, emerald green eyes, surrounded by thick red lashes that any girl would be envious of. His hair actually out of his eyes, perfectly placed across his forehead. I couldn't help it, I brought my lips down to his. meeting him half way. The kiss went from innocent to passionate quickly and soon he was situated on my hips, straddling me. As the need for air became too much for both of us, we pulled away panting against the other's lips, mere millimeters away.

"We shouldn't be doing this here." I mumbled, breathless against his lips. "You should get some rest." He whined lightly before pressing his lips against mine again, dragging his tongue along my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which was given instantly, my words from before dying quickly. his hands dragged up my sides as mine did the same to him. Bringing them back down, I slipped them in his shirt pulling it up as my hands followed farther up on his abdomen, rubbing my thumb over both his nipples. He groaned into the kiss, making the entire experience more enticing. Up until he started grinding down on me did I realize exactly where we were.

"Matt." He kept up his ministrations, no doubt trying to distract me like he had done the last time. "Matt. Stop." I untangled my hands from his body getting a firm grip in his shoulders and gently pushing him away, only when he tried to clasp onto my next did I push harder. He gave up, sitting up, sulking with an adorable pout on his lips. I sat up as well him in my lap. I pecked his lips, and rest my head on his shoulder.

"Matt, just not here, I promise when you get home tomorrow. We'll go as far as you want." His pout turning into a sad look, probably thinking I was just making excuses. How could I prove to him I wasn't? "Matt?" He nodded, in his own way telling me to go on. "Would you go out with me?" I know I probably just sounded like a total teenager, but I didn't care. This was Matt.

"Of course Mello." I pulled my head off his shoulder and looked him in the eyes.

"Thank you." He nodded again and I pecked him on the lips again. "And I promise, you can hold me to that," i chuckled and he smiled, closing his eyes. I rested my forehead against his, rubbing his back again, he relaxed against me. His head moved to my shoulder, and within a few minutes he was asleep on my shoulder. Gently leaning back against the bed, making myself comfortable, I kissed the top of his head before falling into a light sleep myself.

(-line-)

We were woken up by the nurse clearing her throat in the door frame. I shook Matt lightly, smiling as he just nuzzled his face closer into the side of my chest.

"Come on Matty, the nurse is here." He groaned but lifted his head slowly opening his eyes. He gave me a small smile before resting his chin on my chest looking over at her.

"What's up nursey?" I smacked him lightly on the top of the head, and he just chuckled at me. The nurse looked at us like it we were an exhibit at a zoo. I cleared my throat this time bringing her back to reality.

"Umm, well, it's ten o'clock, and um, visitor hours are over for the public." She was melting under my glare, clearly not wanting to mess with me. Matt sighed and sat up a little, his weight leaving my chest. "You can come back after the procedure tomorrow. It should be over at around nine if all goes well." If all goes well, IF ALL GOES WELL, everything better go alright or there will be a few less doctors at this hospital.

I felt Matt's hands gently push at my side, most likely trying to get me off the bed. I sighed as well, throwing my legs off the bed and standing up.

"I'm sure I can find my own way out, I'd like a minute alone with him" I gestured to Matt, the nurse shook her head saying something about having five minutes, before she walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. I looked down at Matt, seeing a small sad smile. I leaned down and connected my lips to his. He kissed back instantly, opening his mouth. I pulled away when the time came that I hated being human, the lack of oxygen getting to my head. I pecked his lips once more before resting my forehead against his. "I'll be here when the operation is over tomorrow alright?"

He shook his head in a nod, his eyes beginning to water again. "Alright, Mello. I'll see you then." I could see the terror in his eyes, he was freaking out.

"Matt I promise you, everything will be alright, just trust me." And with that I turned and walked out of the room, never feeling this empty before.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hell yes, long chapter is long. At least for me. I tried to make it longer cause it took so long for me to update. Love everyone who reviews.

The walk back to my bike took the longest about of time ever. I don't think I could even call it walking. I was trudging, like there was ten feet of snow under my feet, while dragging hundreds of pounds behind me. By the time I came back down to Earth I was standing in front of my bike. My hands were gripping my helmet way to tight, no doubt leaving indentations on my palms. My eyes watered as I looked up at the sky, just trying to retrain them from falling down my face. Everything seemed to be against me as they seeped out of the corners of my eyes, into the outer shells of my ear. I just stood there not moving, as silent sobs racked through my body. It seemed as though hours had passed with me just standing there, when in reality it had probably only been about five to ten minutes.

I let all of what had happened today sink in as I threw my leg over the side of my bike. Matt calling and telling me to come down here, him telling me why he was in the hospital in the first place, talking to May and seeing what her whore of a mother does, and last but definitely not least, finding out the man I had been in love with for almost ten years loves me back. I don't know how to feel about this at all. I'd say it was the worst day ever , but I can't because I know Matt will get through this. I will be with him through every step of the way if he needs me, because in the end I need him. I don't think I would be here without him, whether it's because of the times at Whammy's when he had calmed me down when I threatened to do something rash or whether it be when he saved me from a burning building and was there every step for e when I was healing..

I stopped reminiscing and started up my bike before kicking up the stand and pulling back the throttle, pulling out of the hospital parking garage and onto the main street. Feeling the wind whip my skin as I went way to fast for these streets, narrowly avoiding a few whores whose insults shouted at me got lost in the wind. I cam to a halt a few blocks down from the apparent me we shared pulling into the lot of a small store often visited for my chocolate or Matt's fags. I pulled my helmet off stepping off my bike and walking into the store. I went straight to the candy is;e picking up a small fortune worth of bars before proceeding to the check out counter. The girl behind the counter gave me a weird look before giving me a double take and blushing down at the counter.

"Will that be all sir?" She bit her lip in what I presumed to have been flirtatiously before looking back up at me and batter her eyelashes. I looked away rolling my eyes before nodding my head. She was pretty, I will admit that, but I had something gorgeous now.

"Wait." I thought over what I was gonna say for a second before asking for a pack of the cigarettes Matt smoked. She gave me a confused look before ringing up all of my purchases and handing me my receipt with her number casually written across the bottom along with her name with a heart over the 'i' in it. I pushed the money on the counter towards her before grabbing the bad and shoving the receipt in it. When I looked up before turning around she had a dejected look to her so I shot her a wink before walking out. What? I've been all emotional today and I needed to show a few of my own colors messing with someone before the day was over. I pushed the door open listening to the annoying bell chime as I did s, and walking towards my bike before placing my bag in the compartment under the seat and taking off towards home again.

The ride home from the store was short and uneventful only taking only about two minutes. Grabbing the bad out of the bike, and dragging myself into the apartment complex, I walked into the elevator, too mentally and physically exhausted to take the stair to our 6th floor apartment. The elevator beeped 5 times, signalling the passing of each level before opening up to my floor. I walked down to our room, opening the door before throwing the bag onto a little table in front of the TV and continuing into the bedroom we shared. I stripped off my leather and walked into the bathroom turning on the shower and waiting till it became hot. I stepped under the hot spray, enjoying the feeling that came with it as it turned my skin visibly red. I finished scrubbing down my body and washing my hair before I stepped out.

I opened the door shivering as the cool air of the apartment hit my bare skin, and walking back into the living room grabbing the bag on my decent into the couch. I pulled out a bar of chocolate and the pack of cigarettes dropping the bag next to me on the couch. I stared down into my hands wondering what compelled me to buy the fags, opening the plastic on the container before lighting one up. The smell assaulted my senses and I instantly knew why I had bought them. The smelt of the smoke was all around me, and there was only one thing, only one person I could think about. Matt. The thought brought a painful clenching in my chest and I sat the cigarette down in the ashtray and I lied down, sleep quickly consuming me.

(-line-)

I awoke to the sounds of the cars outside, slowly sitting up in the bed, all of the events of the previous day flooding back into my head. I fell back against my pillows, my hand dragging through my hair. I sat up again, swinging my legs over the side of the bed, pulling myself to my feet. I looked at the clock, reading 8:15. I had to get down to the hospital soon, or Matt would wake up without me and freak out. I want to be there when he wakes up. I walked out of my room pulling on a pair of simple black skinny jeans instead of my trademark leather, not wanting to deal with the hassle. A simple v-neck band shirt followed them as I passed the kitchen grabbing my keys on the way. I hoped down the stairs two at a time, anxiousness finally setting in.

I drove to the hospital quickly, dozens of different thoughts racing through my mind. All of them coming back to Matt. When I arrived at my destination I pulled into a motorcycle section, just sitting there for a second before walking into the main entrance, and up to the main desk. I asked the lady behind the counter if Matt had been released from the surgery and was available for visitors. She responded negatively saying that he was still under and wouldn't be allowed to see anyone till he was awake but she would have someone find him when he was awake again. I nodded at her, giving her a kind mile before walking aimlessly around.

I ended up walking into the cafeteria, my stomach getting the best of me even in a time like this. Walking through the food area I paid the amount, continuing to an empty table near the corner. I was sitting peacefully slowly eating my way through my meal when someone slid into the booth across from me. I looked up shocked to see it was May.

"Hey Mello-Yellow~" She sang, my eyebrow arching, but I shook my head and responded to the little girl.

"Hi May." I smiled lightly. She put her crossed arms up onto the table, her sleeves pulling up slightly as she did. Dark finger prints grazed on her skin. I blatantly stared at her arms, ignoring her words trying to get my attention.

"May, who did this to you?" I pointed at her arms already figuring who did it but not wanting to believe it. "Did your mother do this to you?"

"Sometimes my parents treat me a little rough, but they don't mean any harm by it.." The little smile faltered. but as soon as it was gone it was back. "Really Mello don't worry about me." For a six year old she was pretty convincing, but the words didn't reach her eyes, the smile sad.

"May,m when they leave bruises in the shape of hands on your arms, it isn't being a little rough. Why don't you call the police on them or something?" My voice was raising a little, still trying to keep it down in the morning atmosphere.

She looked down at her hands, flexing her fingers out before speaking. "I have. They come and watch for a few months and my parent's act like they're caring people." She shrugged.

I sighed loudly taking all of what she was saying into account. "May how old are you" She looked around six but I could be wrong the way she was talking and acting sounded a lot more mature then what she looked.

"I'll be nine in four months." Well, that was older then I though but still less mature then she should be for someone of her age. I looked up at her only to not see her there. She had disappeared within the few second I had, had my eyes closed. I brushed the encounter to the back of my mind pulling my phone out from my back pocket checking the time. 9:45. Matt should be awake soon. As if on command a nurse came up to me asking if I was here for Matt, confirming that, she told me that he was awake and if I wished to see him at the moment I should follow her to the before and after surgery room for patients. After many hallways and hundreds of doors passing she turned into a room walking me over to Matt. He looked drowsy but he was awake none the less.

"Hey." He whispered his voice raspy from the hours of non-use.

"Hi Matty." I stood there awkwardly, holding onto the metal side railing of his bed tightly. He placed his hand over mine, the amount of wires protruding from his hand and wrist making me want to cry. I chocked on a sob, my lips forming a thin line and my eyes squeezed shut. He realized what had made me do this, puling his hand away and hiding it under the covers, he muttered another raspy whisper, apologizing. I reached under the blanket cautiously pulling his hand back out and gently lacing my fingers with his. Another silent sob racked through my chest, less noticeable this time but still seen by Matt.

"I'm sorry.." He muttered his voice less raspy this time but dry. He brought a small styrofoam cup to his chest, a small plastic stick sticking out of it with a small blue sponge wedge at the tip. He brought it to his lips, sucking on it. "Apparently I'm not allowed to drink anything for the next few hours cause of the surgery." His shoulders shrugged lightly.

"Hm. Sounds like a lot of fun." I smirked as the doctor walked over telling us that he wants Matt to stay the night so they can keep a n eye on him, and that he can go back to his room. They wheeled him back to the room, myself waling behind them at a slightly slower pace. We arrived at the room, the nurses and doctor quickly leaving. I sat down at the foot of the bed.

"Looks like I'll have to hold you up to that promise tomorrow." I smirked at him, snorting lightly. I leaned down and kissed his forehead, showing my first genuine smile of the day,

A/N: YAY! I finally finished this chapter! It gave me so many damned issues, and I just stared at it every night this week while I was supposed to be studying for finals. But hey, I finished it in the end. If someone can guess the name of the girl from the mini mart place, I'll write you a drabble. It's 8 letters, at least the way I spell it and it starts with a B. If someone doesn't guess it then I'll do it for the closest guess.


End file.
